Lighthouse Thoughts

September 15, 2016

Bullying

I recently had a discussion with a parent who blamed bullying on Helicopter Parenting. I disagree, I don’t think its Helicopter Parenting at all, if anything I tend to helicopter more because of the bullying one of my children has received.

I think the primary issue is that kids are not taught core values: compassion, tolerance, empathy, etc. Instead, kids are taught to make fun of, exclude, avoid, that some kids are different, and these differences are fair game to do ‘innocuous harm”  These kids often have parents making judgments about other children without accurate facts or details and these ideas and opinions, whether directly or indirectly communicated to the child become a catalyst to who gets bullied.

Bullying comes in many forms and exclusion is probably the worst. When kids regularly socialize with a child, go to that child’s birthday party, but exclude that child from social functions or interaction, children become damaged, angry, and unforgiving. They think what’s wrong with me; I’m different; I am ugly. Children purposely find weak spots: you’re Asian, you’re adopted, what’s wrong with your face.  In response bullied children experience depression, anxiety, or develop a bullying mentality in which they reject the mainstream, popular kids.

Teachers are often clueless to what occurs in their classroom, kids are too ashamed to tell, and parents perpetuate the problem.  Too often everyone turns a blind eye to bullying and nothing happens to the bullies and there is no recourse for bullied children.

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